Things Change

  So many things have changed.

I said I would continue to write in this and now I truelly can. I have no longer people looking at this site when I wish them not to and I no longer have to worry about what those poeple think. That was long ago and I'm abandoning my other xangas because it seems pointless to have so many. I had 4 at one point. The other 3 I can no longer remember the passwords to them, I remember the user name for one "Advent_WildChild" or something along those lines. I was naive and stupid and I decided that now that I'm older and have more important things to say then just drabbles and arguments on insignificant things, I will now write in this daily, or attempt to anyway.

I will work to make friends on this website again, ones that I can talk to through it, just like I did with myspace. If you come across any of my old xangas, don't try to talk to me there. For I will never get the messages.

This site appeals to me in many ways. Its an online diary and I can share my feelings with others and in turn share theirs.

...Not to mention I've collected so many icons over the years with nothing to do with them, haha.

So feel free to talk with me, I will answer.

 Hello, Hello, Hello!

Once again I've returned and once again...I have not finished fixing my xangas. This one was one of my originals so maybe I'll just leave the others to themselves. It doesn't really matter. All I need is one right.

Hmmm, I like having journals like these, I have a myspace now but it's just not the same.  *sigh* Oh well, how is everyone? Good I should hope =D

 Ooook, major life changes have happened, lol. I still haven't gotten all my xangas back in working order, besides this one. I've also just started dating my new man :) We've been dating 3 weeks and 4 days...yes I count these things, lol. His name is Michael Heintz and I love him so damn much, I've actually known him since he was a kid (I'm 2 years older then him) and me, him, and my bro used to play together. I really never thought I'd be dating him, but guess what! I am and I am sooo damn happy :)

I need to make friends again on this, I have no one to talk with, but yea. I'm gunna go and stop procrastinating (sp?) and fix my xangas!

Ja ne!

Currently Reading Eldest (Inheritance, Book 2) By Christopher Paolini see related

 HOLY SHIT!!! When was the last time I used this xanga?  I've decided that I need to revamp them and get all 4 of mine back in order. I just finished fixing this one and decided to update.

My life sucks right now, No I have not been dating Mike, the dipshit, for over a year now. I am with the love of my life jeremy, a year and one month, and I will never leave him. He's my babii and I love him to death.

My family is in chaos right now, my grandfather is dieing...might as well be dead. He will be taken off life-support soon, the family needs to say there good byes. I have never once seen (since he was a kid) my brother break down and cry. It hurt me just to watch him. I will miss my grandfather soo much, I love him dearly, but there is nothing else they can do for him and he would be slowly dieing from the inside out anyway. This is what is best for him and the family.

I made it through my first year in highschool, I am now 16 and lovin it...for the most part. I still watch anime like a mad fiend. It's scary. Well I have fanfics to read....I don't feel like typing anyway, ja na!

She then said that she wasn't talking to me, so me thinking she was joking like she some times does, asked why. That's when my smile faded and my eyes went blank, she hadn't been joking and she had told me why. "Because you're a slut." Is what she had said,I then asked why, why she thought that. "Because of what you were doing with Mike in the middle of the dance, that's disgusting." I have seen way worse shit then that at the dances.

I was pissed. She had no right to call me that. By then Mike was standing next to me and saw we had gotten into a fight and asked what she had said. I didn't answer and instead said I'd be right back, seeings how I am family, I went upsatirs and into the kitchen. I then went into the back bathroom and sat and just cried for awhile. Then I got up wiped my tears and told myself that Katie would not bring me down. I had every right to do what I did and there was nothing wrong with it. I walked out and back into the kitchen when my aunt walked in and saw me. Katie was behind her. My aunt asked me what was wrong and I told her nothing, then turned to Katie and said "I'm not speaking to you." Then left the kitchen to go back down to the dance, I heard my aunt ask Katie what was going on now, I didn't hear how she answered because I had already gotten back downstairs.

Mike found me when I got back down and once again asked what was wrong, I continued to tell him that itvwas nothing. When I saw my aunt come in, she spotted me and walked over asking me what was going on. I didn't want to tell her there so I told Mike I'd be back and went with my aunt into the stairwell the led up to the kitchen. I explained what was happing and why. She told me what I had done was not wrong and I was NOT a slut for doing it. We went back to the dance, I saw the Mike was talking with some friends and went and sat with my aunt. We talked for a little bit until Mike saw me and came over. My aunt had to go make some drinks for someone. Mike took me to a back table and we sat and talked about nothing for a little while, then he asked if I wanted to sit on his lap again. I did and did the same thing I did last time, I leaned my head back onto his shoulder. Eventually I had to go to the bathroom so I got up and told him I'd be right back.

When I got back he wasn't sitting where I had left him and talking with his friends again so I went and sat over with my aunt again. When I got there she said that she was using alot of her self control right now. I asked why. She said because the girls Katie was sitting with (Cathy and Jackie) were talking about her and me. I asked what they were saying, with me it was how disgusting I was for acting that way with Mike at a dance and with my aunt it was because she had been glaring at them for talking about me. Then she told me she had talked to Jackie when she had come up to get a drink. My aunt said this, " Do not disrespect me in my own house, I read lips very well and I know what you were saying. I have the power to have you stay or go." My aunt had been pissed. A little bit later after talking with my aunt some more Mike came back and we went to sit at the back table again when I stared leaning on him again because I was tierd. I layed on him again when I sat in his lap and almost fell asleep. I stayed like that for the rest of the night, and he didn't care at all. He had buried his face in my neck and just held me.

After the dance ended I had to leave him so we kissed good-bye and I got in the car with my aunt. We had to drive Katie home, as pormised I did not say a word to her. Then Katie brought up about what my aunt had said to Jackie and my aunt proceed to lecture her about what she had said, Katie lied through most of it. And I knew it too. We dropped her off and I finally got home. My mom found out about what was going on and they all talked. I didn't hear most of it because I was in my room.

The best parts of that night though was being able to be with Mike and the beautiful gold necklace, in a heart shape with a small dimond in it, he had given to me. It was an early X-mas present. I had been so happy, and I feel so loved my him. I'm glad that we're dating and as long as I have him I don't care about Katie.

Well there it is, the whole thing, this is very long now so I gotta go. Ja ne.